Let's get this out of the way: Abe and Rebecca have left the show. And Kate is still gone after quitting the show prior to last season's episodes. Sadly, it appears that Mattis no longer on the show. I mean, there's hope that he will return. But it doesn't appear that America's favorite gay ex-Mennonite will be appearing on season 5 of "Return to Amish." Which is a shame.
Here is the show's latest hook: Jeremiah's donut business, Amish Donuts, is struggling financially. He was making lot of money, but must not have been saving any of it because he had some equipment problems and couldn't repair them without any assistance. A new woman named Ada (who is a feisty ex-Old Order Amish woman) agrees to invest in Jeremiah's business, but only if he will prepare the donuts her way and only if he hires Amish people.
That's right. Ada insists on firing all of Jeremiah's current employees for no reason in order to bring on newly ex-Amish and ex-Mennonite people. Jeremiah initially steps up for his "English" employees, but quickly caves in order to get Ada's money. Ultimately, this seems highly prejudicial and I feel horrible for his newly unemployed workers. God forbid that they weren't brought up in Amish Donuts' newly-realized corporate religion. Then again, all of the Amish people now working for Jeremiah and Ada have just rejected their own religions. So it's hard to argue that the pair are exercising a sincerely held religious belief system by getting rid of all of their English employees.
Back to Ada... At least initially, it seems like Mary has plans to return to the Amish lay of life in order to get her husband's ban lifted and in order to attend her daughter's upcoming wedding. Mary spent most of this episode saying goodbye to Abe and Rebecca (off-camera and off-mic) and then saying goodbye to Jeremiah and Carmela.
I can't help but feel like Ada was brought into the show by TLC in order to introduce a new Mary. I mean, Mary has been the best thing about "Return to Amish" for a while. If she leaves, we're left watching arguments between Jeremiah, Sabrina, and Carmela. And do we really need to watch them argue about her drug addictions and his explosive anti-social personality again?
It's not just an Old Order Amish outfit and money that Ada brings to the show. Remember those Amish workers that she insisted on replacing Jeremiah's workers? They just ran away from their various home and plan on deep-frying donuts in the English world.
There is Dawn, who is an Old Order Mennonite woman. She has a hunky husband and they make an attractive pair. Of course, they immediately ran into problems with their marriage when she secretly started taking birth control pills so that she wouldn't have babies. Then her husband revealed her that he's watching a lot of porn. She can't handle this so has decided to run away from home and learn all about the English by frying donuts.
Then there is Lowell. He was adopted into the Mennonites as a child. He likes to party. Which always cracks me up on this show about the amount of partying that happens among the young Amish and Mennonites. They warn that the English will lead them into temptation and take advantage of them, but then we learn about crazy alcohol-fueled orgies that take place in this remote Amish barn. So I guess it's all relative... Lowell dreams of joining the military. Or becoming a model. And he's decided that the best way to meet this goal is to run away from home and fry donuts.
Let me digress for a moment to point out how stupid that Amish Dance Party scene was. TLC edited techno-dance music into the scene like these folks were actually at a rave. I'm not even sure if this party wasn't filled with Lowell and several production staff in Amish garb. That actually wouldn't surprise me. I just have a hard time imaging that a bunch of people who are frightened of getting shunned for attending a secret Amish orgy would allow themselves to be recorded and broadcast on cable television.
Next, there is Shelly. Like Lowell, she was adopted by a Mennonite family when she was a baby. From the previews, she seems to have struggled a bit more than Lowell over her race among the majority white Mennonites. She has a boyfriend named Matt (AKA the Amish Johnny Cash). She thinks that he's black, but he's actually Bulgarian. Shelly plans to seek out her birth mother and to develop her identity as a black woman. And she's decided that the best way to meet this goal is to fry donuts with Jeremiah on reality TV.
And lastly, there is Joanna. She is an ex-Mennonite woman who serves as a living Underground Railroad for others who need help leaving the Amish and Mennonite communities. Basically, she supplies workers for Jeremiah and Ada.
But wait! There's more.... Sabrina returns to the show, looking for work at Amish Donuts, because nothing promotes one's continued sobriety than working for the man who slept with you and helped nurture her old party lifestyle. And apparently, she's good friends with Lowell. Supposedly.... She shows up out of the blue while everyone was having supper with the "Return to Amish" production crew and invited herself to eat. She then began screaming at Jeremiah before insisting that he hire her. Which, of course, he did.
So there's some interesting things to see in this season of "Return to Amish." And there's some tiresome repeat story lines. And definitely no gay ex-Mennonites. But I'm looking forward to watching it all when the second episode airs tonight!