Dutchman Suing to Legally Reduce his Age by 20 Years

There is a story circulating today involving a 69-year-old Dutchman named Emile Ratelband who is suing to legally change the date of his birth. Not because there was an error with his birth certificate, but because his doctor reportedly told him that he has the body of a 45-year-old. He wants to change his legal age to 49 so that he can return to work and so that he can attract more women on the Tinder dating app.

Ratelband wants to officially amend his birth date from 03/11/1949 to 03/11/1969:

Mr Ratelband said: "I have done a check-up and what does it show? My biological age is 45 years. "When I'm 69, I am limited. If I'm 49, then I can buy a new house, drive a different car. I can take up more work. "When I'm on Tinder and it say I'm 69, I don't get an answer. When I'm 49, with the face I have, I will be in a luxurious position.

"Transgenders can now have their gender changed on their birth certificate, and in the same spirit there should be room for an age change."

The judge will issue a decision within four weeks, but did question how this would work. For example, he's essentially pretending to delete his entire childhood. "For whom did your parents care in those years? Who was that little boy back then?"

I learned of this story originally from Felix Ngole, the totally non-homophobic Christian who got expelled from his university's social work program for being anti-gay but who asserts that he would act completely gay-affirming even though his page primarily posts crap like this. In fact, many of the anti-gay culture warriors appear to be promoting this story in an effort to point out how far our society has fallen because of LGBTQ influences.

Of course, this legal case will go nowhere. The courts will not allow Emile Ratelband the ability to create a legal fiction about his age in order to improve his chances on Tinder.