Pretty much every marriage inequality state has a pending lawsuit involving gay marriage right now. One of those cases is happening in Florida. A man named Chris Sevier attempted to intervene in the Brenner v. Scott case on behalf of "other minority sexual orientation groups." Sevier says that if gay couples have the right to legally marry then he should be able to also marry the object of his sexual preference. In other words, Sevier wants to marry his "
porn filled Apple computer":
Recently, I purchased an Apple computer. The computer was sold to me without filters to block out pornography. I was not provided with any warning by Apple that pornography was highly addictive and could alter my reward cycle by the manufacturer. Over time, I began preferring sex with my computer over sex with real women. Naturally, I 'fell in love' with my computer and preferred having sex with it over all other persons or things, as a result of classic conditioning upon orgasm.
The federal judge involved with this case ended up quickly dismissing Sevier's motion:
Chris Sevier has moved to intervene, apparently asserting he wishes to marry his computer... Perhaps the motion is satirical. Or perhaps it is only removed from reality. Either way, the motion has no place in this lawsuit."
Sevier has a history of seemingly frivolous lawsuits. He has sued Apple for not warning him of the evils of pornography when it sold him his computer. He sued A&E for "firing" Phil Robertson for a handful of days from
Duck Dynasty. And he also tried shoe-horning himself into Utah's gay marriage lawsuit.
