It used to be that the FDA assumed that all sexually active men was HIV-positive. And they still do, regardless of marital status or level of monogamy. But they decided to loosen the rules so that men who are sexually active with other men no longer have to abstain for an entire year before giving blood. We just have to abstain for three months before giving blood.
Of course, I still can't donate blood. I am a gay man who has been with my husband since the mid-90s. We have been married for most of that time. During that time, I have had multiple AIDS tests for various reasons.
At least two of them were tests that most gay couples do early in their relationship in order to establish the baseline HIV status for both of us.
Two other AIDS tests were taken in order to determine if I would qualify for life insurance policies.
Each time, I have tested negative. I don't sleep with other men. My husband doesn't sleep with other men. We don't sleep with other men as a couple. And I have no reason to believe that either of us has become HIV positive.
But the FDA believes that we need to abstain from all sexual activity as a married couple for at least three months in order to donate blood. So I continue to be banned from giving blood.