Back in June, the Catholic Diocese of Springfield, IL, issued pastoral guidance for its priests and employees when it comes to dealing with LGBT couples and families -- basically, bar us from wedding and funerals and teach our kids that their families are really, really bad. Last Sunday, a blog called Pray Tellpublished a communication that had been sent out to the priests within the Diocese of Madison, WI, by vicar general James Bartylla.
The issue at hand, how should priest respond to funeral requests for a person in a "homosexual civil or notorious union?" Short answer? Worry about scandal and consider withholding funeral sacraments. And certainly don't allow the person's spouse or partner to have any public role in the funeral. And don't allow the identity officiating priest to appear anywhere where the surviving spouse or partner is referenced. Here are some of the things that priests are to consider as they decide how to move forward with requests for funeral services:
The issue at hand, how should priest respond to funeral requests for a person in a "homosexual civil or notorious union?" Short answer? Worry about scandal and consider withholding funeral sacraments. And certainly don't allow the person's spouse or partner to have any public role in the funeral. And don't allow the identity officiating priest to appear anywhere where the surviving spouse or partner is referenced. Here are some of the things that priests are to consider as they decide how to move forward with requests for funeral services:
Was the deceased or the “partner” a promoter of the “gay” lifestyle? What is the attitude of the deceased’s family members, especially towards the Church?
Did the deceased give some signs of repentance before death?
If ecclesiastical funeral rites are allowed, should they occur without a Mass?
To minimize scandal, should there merely be a short scripture service at the funeral home? Or maybe merely a graveside service? Maybe a later “Mass for the Dead” with or without explicit mention of the name of the deceased or “partner” could alternatively or in addition be offered at the parish or even at another parish (to avoid scandal), with or without family members present.
Any surviving “partner” should not have any public or prominent role at any ecclesiastical funeral rite or service.
A great risk for scandal and confusion is for the name of the celebrating priest and/or the parish to be listed in any public (e.g., newspaper) or semi-public obituary or notice that also lists the predeceased or surviving “partner” in some manner. This can’t happen for obvious reasons.
There should be no mention of the “partner” either by name or by other reference (nor reference to the unnatural union) in any liturgical booklet, prayer card, homily, sermon, talk by the priest, deacon, etc…
It may be wise to keep the priest or deacon involvement to the minimum (i.e., limited to one priest or deacon and at merely essential times of a service or rite, if one occurs).Here is another option to consider for self-respecting LGBT Catholics who are married or partnered and looking for funeral options where the Church doesn't tuck the deceased person's wife, husband, or partner into the closet... Check out the Episcopal Church. Or the ELCA. Or the Methodists. Or the United Church of Christ. Or the Metropolitan Community Church. Or any other church that doesn't consider your family a source of scandal.