I have been trying out a new LGBT online community recently. I'm still not sure if I will stick around for long, but there have been some interesting discussion. For instance, I ran across this one thread that ask if he should confront this guy for gently rebuffing his advances:
I liked this dude for a while that I met at a party and eventually asked out via text. I made it clear I was cool with whatever (hookup, fwb, dates), but would like to get to know him more. He told me he "wasn't really looking for anything right now." This was two days ago.
Last night I was swiping through (a social media app), and boom, he was on there. And his profile said he was looking for "dates/fwb" and it had a picture he uploaded very recently on other social media. Needless to say I am hurt over this, and have been contemplating an assertive confrontation about this.
This is not the first time I've been rejected (and more than likely not the last), but I'd rather someone directly reject me and say that I'm not his type than to beat around the bush. I also know I don't have much to lose with him at this point.
My problem is I feel that people need to be called out on when I catch them in a lie, but on the other hand it could make me look crazy. It's not like I intentionally was looking to see if he was on the app, just happened to find him as I was swiping. For what it's worth I also screenshotted the profile as evidence. Thank you for reading, I'm trying to do what I can to be the big person about this, but it also stings.Here is how I responded:
Stop. He doesn't owe you anything in this scenario. He turned you down. He's not into you. It doesn't matter why or that he wasn't direct with you. You confronting him with screen-grabs and everything will make you look crazy. It won't impress him. It won't impress his friends when he tells them about your confrontation. They'll talk. You'll look and sound crazy to them and their friends. And no one will want to date or hook up with you.
If you want to be the big man about this, then let it go and move on.What kind of advice would you offer? Share them in the comments below.